so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize