Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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