with your own penis?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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