"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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