I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
