I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
