i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
