$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
