I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
