try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize