There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
