hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
