before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
that may or may not have been my penis.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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