I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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