a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
