Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
