just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
