I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
