and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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