I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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