Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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