You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
