you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
