its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
