Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
