He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
