Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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