Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize