i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
