What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
