girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Enjoy the penises
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
