can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
