There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Randomize
