yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm at about main and main street
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
