part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
