Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
