I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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