Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize