yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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