I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
