Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
