I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
