That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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