I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
