I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
