On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
