dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
