i think my mom watched the whole time
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
