thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
