why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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