She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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