My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
