also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
