he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
