My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
