Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
