someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
