are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
