Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
