you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
