I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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