If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I could have mohawked her pubes.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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