I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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